


Trust Exercise

by AshToSilver



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 08:34:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7567366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshToSilver/pseuds/AshToSilver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Do you even know anything about babies?” Joker asked, eyeing said toddler with the same caution he usually reserved for explosives. “Also, why do you <em>have</em> a baby? Whose baby is this? Did you <em>steal</em> this baby?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trust Exercise

**Author's Note:**

> A year-old prompt fill I forgot to post. An anon asked for "batjokes: trust exercise" and this is what I came up with. It was not... terribly on topic.

The Bat and the Clown had an Agreement.

It was a capital A type Agreement, with terms and conditions, policies and shit. It had taken years - almost decades to build it to something that could weather the storm and fire of their ways and fights.

A large amount of it did not depend on _trust_. It depended on knowledge - knowledge of what they would _do_  to broken rules. Knowledge of consequences. Knowledge of past wounds, dug deep into bruised skin and bone.

So rare was the exception that the clown was prone to forgetting them, as they only came once or twice a year, if that. And when one _did_  pop up, they were equally prone to vanishing before trust could be applied.

So this?

Downright _spooky_.

“You want me to what?”

“Don’t give me that look.” The Bat said, the edge of annoyance in his tone. “Its not that big of a deal.”

The clown tried to convey in facial expressions that this was in fact, a Big Deal, and also, not a good idea! Hello, bat-brain, does this clown look trustworthy? Haven’t the past two decades of fighting and not fighting and making out and making up taught his bat-in-black anything?

“Just watch Carrie for me.” Bruce said. “For like, two hours. At most.” He paused for a moment. “I’m trusting you to take care of my kids.”

“You see, that’s the problem.” The clown muttered. “I trust you to like- see me naked, or something. Me? I don’t trust me with _babies_.”

“She’s three. So… not a baby.” Bruce didn’t look too sure about that. “She’s… she’s a… _toddler_.”

“Do you even know anything about babies?” Joker asked, eyeing said toddler with the same caution he usually reserved for explosives. “Also, why do you _have_  a baby? Whose baby is this? Did you _steal_  this baby?”

“I did not!” Bruce yelped. “Technically, Duke found her- I mean, we’re just babysitting- we have her parents’ permission- _Damian’s_ got this idea- why do I even bother, just take the kid.”

And the bat was gone, leaving the retired clown prince of crime with one ginger-haired three year old.

“Fuck.” He hissed to the gilded halls of Wayne Manor. “Fuuuuuucccckk.”

“Uck.” Muttered Carrie, mostly preoccupied with some misshapened, florescent, generic-shaped stuff animal.

“Sshhii- _damn_ , darn it. I don’t even _like_  kids. Especially baby-bats. You’re just trouble.” He said, but shifted the toddler higher. “Give it nine, ten years and you’ll be flying about with the best of them.”

“Yeah.” Carrie giggled. “Play now?”

“I suppose we can think of something.” The clown said, and resigned himself to his fate.

**Author's Note:**

> In part of my headcanon timeline, I like to think that Duke Thomas (the Robin after Damian) picked up Carrie Kelly (who becomes Robin after Duke) because her parents were a tad neglectful. He steals her away to Wayne Manor every now and again, and her parents only know she’s being babysat for free. Meanwhile, Damian and Duke collaborate on how to safely teach a kid to be Robin from an early age. (Also, I know Carrie showed up in the new 52, but I prefer her storyline in The Dark Night Returns better, so she’ll be Robin when Bruce is 55.)


End file.
